Mama Shujaa

Sometimes expert advice is not expert.  Like doctors who tell you, "you are a little blue, here is something to help you sleep." Living in the moment and trusting my instincts is expert. And the things I have gone through in my life,  are the research and development I needed to help me show up and push through many struggles. They were my preparation, and it is ongoing.   So every morning I wake up and write down three things I am grateful for.   Yesterday's list is the same as today's. That happens. I am grateful for my health.  I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for listening to that clear voice within.  I am flanked by two smiling gentlemen in this picture, at a glamorous event. My husband holding my award and Mark, our chairman.  I received a Person of the Year award that night for my voluntary work on behalf of the Association of Kenyan Professionals, Atlanta.  I could not smile because my face was paralyzed.  And for many years, I had to learn to overco

To fight my battles. I had to learn to use my own.  When I came to America with fifty dollars in my pocket in 1983, I had a five year plan. Get in, get your education. Get out. I started out as an au pair for a divorcee, a CIA operative* with a precocious five year old girl. I also worked other jobs to pay my way through college. Five years flew by and Memories are for Storytelling, so I stayed and created some beautiful ones.    But when you set roots somewhere for thirty-seven years and you still don't identify as being fully American, then it deserves some looking in the mirror.  Because badges of belonging matter.   *** Whose armor? Everyone's actually.  And what quarantine has gifted me is the time and ability to gate out noise and distractions, to stay true and committed to a NOW time goal, versus a short term or long term goal. I am grateful for that luxury of time in this chapter of my life.    *Disclaimer: based on the events witnessed and my putting two and two togeth

And I came up with the ideas. And I drafted, I rewrote, panting and sweating over and over again. Then my ego started screaming because I was alright in my comfort zone but the moment I started to go Blue Ocean around my next level of mastery, fear came up.  As much as I wanted success, because it was unknown to me, I stepped on the brakes. I let human nature take me back to homeostasis....kept my heart at 72 beats per minute, my blood pressure within its comfortable bandwith.   And so I survived in mediocrity, in procrastination, in showing up every day in comfort. But where does greatness live?  In the lives of those who have mastered walking into their fear and living on the razor's edge consistently to the point that they are comfortable in their discomfort.  She showed me the way, twelve years ago.  I started this blog, started really writing.  Published a little short story. It was anthologized in a South African journal.  I was consistent for a  while, then life hit, distrac