Every Woman Needs A Good Wife - Part I

It's time for me to stop being tentative about this. I'm in a heady state of mind, perhaps as a result of the drugs my Ear Nose and Throat specialist prescribed for my bacterial tonsillitis.

When this illness began on Monday night and I faced the painfully intimidating minute-by-minute task of trying to swallow, I found a new appreciation for the simple things in life.

I need a good wife. It's that simple.

I mentioned to my husband, who is a great provider, a wonderful caregiver like most out there, and has been bringing breakfast, lunch and dinner trays to me in bed; that if I can participate in selecting the lucky young lady (as I am sure we will have a few candidates waiting in line) and I retain the Head Wife status, in charge of the Common Pot, then all is fair in love, and all in love is fair.

Gauging from the big bright smile on his face, I imagine that unlike me, he has one thing on his mind, whereas I have several including: picking up dry-cleaning, house-cleaning, kids homework, grocery lists, blogposts, etcetera, etcetera.

Here is a bit of an historical tidbit, and you will have an opportunity to read about it in a book to be published later this year entitled, Women Of Courage And Power In Kenya's Oral History, by Rebeka Njau.

One of the fascinating women featured in the book had a large family because she married other women and handed them over to her six male workers to bear her more children. The children born out of those marriages and the family units created, carried the matriarch's name. The male workers did their chores and served as 'escorts' on her many business trips...mmpphh!

I like to trace my heritage matri-linealy as you can imagine, for good reason. It's my prerogative. But since we live in America how do I go about crystallizing my idea? It's one thing to fantasize about Big Love. It's quite another to put it into practice in a society where the media tends to dictate what is normal, abnormal, cool, and uncool.

So, as I take my family and friends advice to rest and get well soon, I can only fantasize about how much better everything would be if I had a good wife. But I'm sure once I recover and I'm off the meds, the thoughts will cease, ama?

TO BE CONTINUED...yaani [i.e.] fleshed out.

Mama Shujaa.

Copyright © Hana Njau-Okolo 2009. All Rights Reserved.


  1. All I can say is, "Amen!" I have to be honest, some days I wonder if the husband is even necessary. Just give me the wife, and let her find her own man. LOL! Just kidding, some days I do hope for a hubby, but I might consider a woman who would take on some of the household responsibilities and not require sex in exchange as a viable alternative. I guess that means I'm looking for roommate. LOL! I read an essay about this when I was in undergrad. Back then I didn't completely get it...only intellectually. Today, I understand for real.

  2. ah pole sana umeumwa (sp?). hope you're feeling better now? your husband sounds VERY kind! and you made me laugh about your wives!? heh heh heh! lots love and get strong. xxx j

  3. Pole Mama Shujaa and get well soon. Glad you can still write, though - looking forward to part 2!

  4. I gotta say I'm loving the idea. Women in power. A matri-lineal way of life. Where do I sign up???!!!

    Hope you feel better soon.

  5. What a marvelous concept. I could also use a good wife or two. I have often wondered how I could split myself into so many parts without losing me in the process. Now, legal hurdles aside, I can't imagine why this wouldn't be possible, a sort of kibutz arrangement but in a bigger house.

    Feel better Mama Shujaa. Gute Besserung!


  6. Get Well Soon Mama Shujaa. I know how you feel, there has been times when I wished there was another to pass off some of the responsibilities (beleive it or not even the duties of an affectionate wife). So I can see how the thought passed through your mind. Enjoyed this passage - it brought a smile to my face. Thanks

  7. VCSMama: to paraphrase "man doth not live by bread alone"

    "woman cannot live on a clean house alone"

    ...but I hear you.

  8. Janelli: Asante sana, I'm getting there. I hope to be fully recovered by early next week, still on meds.

    AO: Asante sana.

    Ms. Bar B: Sasa? I guess moving to East Africa...unless you go the "DL" route, which is quite common in immigrant communities in several states across the U.S.

  9. Rose-Anne,

    Well said. Folks just don't understand all the things we do....;) It is all about achieving inner peace that radiates to embrace others...

    Moto Mama: I know how you feel, I'm sure most of us have days when the "headache syndrome" comes in handy. As my sister-in-law would say: "Body no be firewood" [the body is not made of firewood]

  10. Sorry to hear you've been under the weather! I'm a horrible patient. Being that I love to work, I don't like being home and being sick. Glad your hubby was there to come to your aid!! I have to confess, your idea is very interesting! :)
    Also thanks for stopping by and voting for my vase! :)

  11. I’m so sorry to hear that you were so ill. Isn’t that true about husbands and wives? You make me laugh. I’m lucky to have a husband who cooks, but when illness strikes our house, I’m everyone’s wife and mom no matter how sick I am. Luckily I've been in good health lately.

  12. Mama,

    Im sorry to hear you've been not feeling well.

    May there be wings of healing to attend to you, and as many wives, husbands and friends as you need to make the journey lighter...;)

    Thank you as always for the smile you bring,

    With love, M

  13. Todd: Yes me too, I love work so I've felt a bit stranded this week. Your Peace Baby is the best one there! Good luck.

    Sarah: I tell you, we've got to come up with a formula we moms.

    Maithri: Your generosity of spirit I just love!

  14. You and me both. Great writing like all the others. I enjoy the reads.

    Give hubby 2 pats on his back for his work this week. Yes, please only 2. For Moms it's always all about the others and at the very bottom in little font, fine print, barely visible is us, Moms. So yes, again just two pats for last week, Not unless the following was completed:
    1) Dishes every day/night
    2) Lysol and disinfectant in the areas that Mom was at, so the others dont get sick
    3) Fresh new meal ideas for lunch and dinner, fav picks for the kids who don't eat all types of veggies. Balanced, Nutritious, Food Pyramid worthy.
    4) Kisses n hugs as the kids stepped home from school.
    5) Agendas signed, corrected homework
    6) Teacher conference and PTA to do's
    7) Non for profit meetings and confernece calls too
    8) Laundry
    9) Twenty eight more things on the list to do
    10) Mom, I fell, it hurts, come see, pray with me and absorbing all the things that Mom should see and be
    11) Folding clothes
    12) Field trip cash
    13) Iron kids clothes for school
    14) sign up for drink party at school
    15) Laundry
    16) Cancel Timmys sleepover because we're down with the flu
    17) Cleaning
    18) and the list goes on and on

    K, so hope you're well enough to have gotten a chuckle. Next time (hoping that there won't be one) the tonsils hurt..... Get to scratchin it on paper baby,
    pass the hubby,
    tell him it's hard work,
    for the 1 pat Moms get on their backs :)!

    Keep on writing!

  15. Mama,
    Now here is a thought that hits close to home. Do. Me
    We all need to be reminded every once in a while to stop and Do. Me

  16. Mama,
    And here I was thinking I'm the only one with such thoughts. Honestly I'm done proving I can run a household, raise exceptional kids, do homework,be an excellent cook, constantly look like I've stepped out of a beauty pageant and to top it off, performer extrodinair in the sanctuary - you say it best -
    I need a good wife. It's that simple.

    lol Mama lets ponder this some more....


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