Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Trespassing Prohibited

I couldn’t wait to tell Nadia. She lived on the other side of the bougainvillea lined path that separated our properties. I had not talked to her for a few days. And once or twice recently in the evenings, I caught a glimpse of her through the hedges as she walked alone towards the main road. I wondered where she was going and made a note to ask her, then decided to follow her the next time I saw her pass by and surprise her with the good news.

The opportunity presented itself easily enough, right after an early dinner that Saturday when she made her way through the path behind our house. I gave her a few minutes to get ahead and then set out after her.

It was not long before I realized that she had turned off the main road and was heading towards Sir Michael Blondell’s coffee farm. What was she doing? His was the colonial ranch to be feared, avoided. I followed stealthily behind, the double dose of excitement almost too much to bear.

It wasn’t long before I came upon her, standing near the man-made lake, a Trespassing Prohibited sign impaled on a Jacaranda tree close by.



Photo Credit

Nadia’s diminutive frame swayed slightly towards the water. Its translucent topcoat reflected the gigantic red petals blossoming on her lacy dress as it wafted umbrella-like in the light breeze, revealing a set of knock-knees precariously tilted towards the edge.

She reached behind her neck to unclasp the single hook-and-eye of her dress.

My heart’s staccato rhythm pulsed in my eardrums, thoughts colliding as I anticipated her next move. Within seconds she had slipped off her dress and her chocolate nakedness disappeared into the lake.

Except for the shallow gasps coming from my mouth, I stood transfixed, cursing my non-photographic memory.

Chocolate shaven armpits were all I could remember. Caramel pointed breasts, a flat stomach with a ring-less bellybutton, and tight thighs; body parts I barely glimpsed and yearned to see again.

Nadia mouth was open as she tilted her head back and took a deep breath, she spread her arms out to her sides like an aeroplane, looking relaxed, her whole body, the peaks of her bosom barely visible above the water.

I worried about the millions of things that lay ensconced in the lake’s murky depths as the brown, syrupy water slowly moved around her body.

Nadia's tongue caressed her lips as the beat in my ears slowed to a steady tempo, the blood circulating in my belly. Her brown eyes lingered on the lake’s surface, the fragrance of passionflowers encircling the lake rising in the air as Nadia moved towards the water’s edge.

Time stood still when she emerged from the lake. Her body’s contours shimmered like a polished diamond. Dazzled, I took it all in. The contours of her high cheekbones, shapely full lips, and perfect nose and chin, the peaks of her succulent breasts, sensuous stomach and slender thighs, left me with a drumbeat pulsing, persistent, concentrated.

(Excerpt from my book-in-progress)

Ji-enjoy! Mingi Love,

Mama Shujaa.

16 comments:

  1. Wow, Mama Shujaa, as I read this I was hoping it would go on and on for another 300 pages...didn't want it to end. I was spellbound! Great stuff..Can't wait for the book :)

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  2. Anengiyefa: I am so thrilled that you enjoyed it, I am smiling inside, especially because this is such a small snippet and yet you are able to appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

    Odegle: This tale has some twists and turns so I am hoping that by the time it is finished, I am not completely dizzy...LOL! Let me say that I am determined to discipline my time forthwith so as to produce the book post-haste! Thanks so much.

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  3. Her body's contours shimmered like a polish diamond. Dazzled, I took it all in.

    Mama Shujaa,
    Can it get any better than that.
    You sure know how to take the reader on an explosive fantasy.

    I like it.

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  4. Mama, you are a great writter, hope to read your book soon

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  5. I’m so happy to see that you’ve been working on your novel. From this excerpt it looks promising. You give us a taste, and I want the full meal. You have a lovely, sensual quality to your writing. I love the imagery of the lake. One small suggestion: cut the cliché “time stood still.” Looking forward to reading more.

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  6. My glasses steamed up reading that, I like!

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  7. Yes, I enjoyed that excerpt from your book to come. I can't wait to start reading it -- Keep up the great work!!!!

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  8. Anonymous: Nadia's escape, prohibited as it may be, gets a little bit more out of bounds as we go along...explosive might be a good word(:

    Cee: Thank you, I am working hard at it now.

    Sarah: I appreciate your constructive criticism. Yes, I agree with Zadie Smith, clichés are lazy, they slip out without thought, so thanks for policing me. (:

    Tamaku: LOL. If I managed to get your glasses steamed up, then I am doing well!!!

    Moto Mama: Yes, I am eager to present you with something that will give you plenty of moto moments. Ha!

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  9. And... and... and...? What else? You cruel woman! :-) You can't leave me like that. Oh man, what a story, what power of description. You're great. You're bloooooooody great.

    Greetings from London.

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  10. I'm guilty of the cliché crime myself too - my husband polices my manuscript. The rest of the writing was fresh and original - just one little flaw on a diamond.

    As much as I want to read more (we all do!) be careful of posting too much on the internet before you sell a manuscript. You write well enough for this to be a valid concern.

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  11. Wow. This was awesome. I knew you were gifted....This was really good. Rock on Sister.

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  12. ACIL: LOL. Hubby has accused me of cruelty many different times...I am glad you enjoyed this little snippet. You will enjoy the rest.

    Sarah: Good advice. I will definitely keep that in mind. Thanks for looking out!

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  13. woooo girl! you got a big fire up in here. that nadia piece is hot. how's the book coming ?

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  14. RE: Good to see you here. Thanks for stopping by and for the lovely comment. Yes, the book is coming along as we say in Kiswahili: Haba na haba! Watch this space. :-)

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  15. this was a great read, made me feel like i was a part of the story...very nice, can't wait for the book!!

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