Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Ponder Your Navel

This post is dedicated to our ex.

Have you ever had the opportunity to tell someone, "Go jump in a lake!?" It's a plus when you can tell them exactly what lake too!

For instance, Lake Magadi, back home in Kenya's Rift Valley would work perfectly because in the dry season it is 80% full of soda ash, a.k.a. washing soda. Our ex can just jump in there and be cleansed thoroughly of the senseless behaviour that has been the source of such negative energy that has caused the untimely death of our vanpool.


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When someone sets out to kill a van, containing a load of professionals trying to get to and from work expeditiously, stress-free, while reducing traffic congestion and fuel consumption, that person needs to go jump in Lake Magadi!!


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In Lake Magadi they can scrub the toxins off the flesh, and then maybe, just maybe, they can return to reclaim their self-ascribed "salt of the earth" status.

I don't think we'd take them back on the van though, sorry.


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In fact, a next step would be recommended:

Climb my Mt. Kilimanjaro and at 19,000 feet above sea level, do this:

Find Your Belly Button! In that lovely thin air. Breathe faster, deeper, expose your soul to the fresh air. Perhaps the hyperventilation will assist in elevating your spirit. After all, altitude determines attitude au siyo? However, don't let the pulmonary edema set in as this would defeat the purpose of your going to the mountain-top...



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...to ponder your navel. Your big fat, round navel. Whether an innie or an outie, that very first scar, left over from the umbilical cord joining you to your mother's placenta, is your unique fingerprint. Examine it. What happened to all that nourishment from the womb? Did society get the best of you? Trace backwards, the complicated path you have taken recently. Your motivations, the surging negative energy, the undermining, conniving, back-biting, causing havoc amongst reasonable and appreciative riders.

Ex-Primary Driver: Goodbye, Good Luck, Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish.

Kwaheri ya kuonana.

Mama Shujaa.

16 comments:

  1. Don't hold back Mama Shujaa...tell this ex how you really feel about him...lol

    great post!

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  2. Roschelle,

    mmcchhww! *me sucking my teeth* Sorry, I could not resist adding that final touch. LOL! Actually, our ex-Primary Driver is a She, a very complicated one at that! I am really hoping a handful of us vanpoolers can get together and keep our van afloat...somehow...I'll keep you posted. Thanks for popping in.

    (:

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  3. Sweet sweet. I love my ex, though. Wouldn't wish her defrosting in the soda.

    That mountain experience and navel thing.. I like it. I have to think a lot about that.

    Yep!

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  4. Our Kid,

    LOL. Trust me, our ex was frosty enough...

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  5. I am sorry about your vanpool, but I am laughing. You raise navel contemplation to an art form. This is too good. Gorgeous photos too.

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  6. Sarah,

    Laughter is the best medicine, I tell you!

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  7. I see I'm not the only one having a bad day. You made me laugh! Poor ex, is she aware of the depth of your feelings?

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  8. Tamaku - Pole sana jamaa. What's up? Nitakuja kukutembelea. Well, she jerked us around so much on the van and I mean literally as well (doing wazimu stuff) that I am sure she has some sense of our displeasure as a group.

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  9. LOL!!!! That ex really worked your nerves. You have put her in her place very well. Good luck with keeping the van pool going. I hope she at least hears about this blog so she can be aware of just how much she could use some of that washing soda....

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  10. Moto Mama we call it SABUNI in Kiswahili. LOL.

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  11. I loved this post so much. It was wackily wise and the act of contemplating my navel that high is so alluring. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  12. Cor, flippin' 'eck...I'm extremely pleased that I'm not your ex. Imagine...Lake Magadi and then Mt. Kili and navel contemplation. Oh, the very thought makes my brain freeze.

    It's SO lovely to be back here on your deliciously intelligent, informative and often very funny blog, Mama Shujaa. Now that all the manic activity of those house-hunting safaris is over, I can get back to painting and writing and, best of all, reading my favourite blogs. I'm off now to play catch up with all your posts I've missed recently. Bliss!

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  13. ACIL: Thanks for popping in and for appreciating the highs and lows of life with me.

    Congrats Tessa! on finding a home and so good to see you here again.

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  14. Oh my... hahaha. And you call ME a jester. :D

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  15. Stop by when you get a chance. You've been presented with an award!!! No speech required...lol

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  16. You go Mama!!! Tell it like it is... We need to release... to be real....

    Here's to all your tommorows beautiful friend,

    You are a passionate flame burning in the dark,

    M

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